Sunday, May 31, 2009

Viral Meningitis

Has anyone ever had this? What did it feel like? Am I dying?

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Good Enough

Well, they're not exactly President Obama or Vice-President Biden, but I'll take them. The lawyers who were on opposing sides of the 2000 Presidential Election recount case have joined forces and filed in Federal Court for marriage protection under the Federal Constitution. YEA!

I saw them on Larry King last night. I thought they were very impressive.

Any ideas on how to rally around them? Solo?

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Go Away

As if to mirror my mood, the sky has dumped a torrent of rain on our heads today. I'm irritated with Dawn (who knew that was possible?) and our kids and the school and the world, in general. It's a day in which I shouldn't allow myself to speak.

Does this sound like PMS or what?

I love puddles, especially the ones at the curbs. After picking up the little kids from school I drove through every one I could find. I get a sick satisfaction out of the spray off of my mini-van tires. I'm pathetic, I know.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


Sean Penn spoke of the shame that will haunt the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of those who support Prop 8. I think of the grandchildren of Sen. McCarthy and Gov. Wallace and cannot imagine the embarrassment and stigma that they must live with everyday. And I wonder if the 6 who voted to uphold Prop Hate will find their names in History books listed with these infamous separatists.

AJ was right when she wrote that the Civil Rights movement needed a champion in the highest office in this land. It could never have been left to the voters. (I'm from Mississippi, remember? The state that didn't ratify the 14th Amendment until 1995.)

I'm ready for a national champion to step forward on this long over-due matter. Then-Senator Biden railed against same-sex discrimination in his debate with Governor Palin. Then-Senator Obama called for at least a compromise to assure hospital visitation and benefits in his acceptance speech for the nomination. COME ON! Stop hiding behind "Marriage is a matter for the states to decide" and start leading "This is America! Land of the Free and Home of the Brave! And I am the President for all people and will take it on my own shoulders to guarantee that all people will be treated equally! Until everyone is free, no one is." This is, after all, a Civil Rights matter.

I always get overly dramatic when I'm feeling sassy. My thoughts aren't entirely coherent. Forgive me. I'm just so sad.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Our First Pride Weekend

They called it "The Hot Mess Marsh."

Dawn said, "If someone asked you what the opposite of gay is, wouldn't Arkansas Razorback be a not untrue answer?"

Our next tent neighbors. They had great music, of course.

Scott is Dawn's friend's husband. Not gay, but he got A LOT of attention on the beach:) I liked that he brought a cooler and a shaker.

Dykes with Kites.

The Surf was pretty high all weekend because of the storms. This guy is not gay, but he may have wanted to be by the end of the party.

Awww. Even our shoes love each other. Dawn said, "I'm on top." I said, "OK."

3 asses. It's not as good as Jude's pic of the assey surfer, but is anyone complaining?

There were only a couple of rainbow umbrellas at the beach. Just Kidding.

If you can manage it, don't look at me being decidedly un-photogenic. Check out the rub-down behind me.

For you tataphiles out there - She wanted to know if I was going to photoshop her clothes off. I said, "No, your shirt is so cute."

I believe Solo calls them "Cute Baby Dykes."

Girl with a Guitar - Carol Plunk at Peg Leg Pete's. She is rockin' good and has a huge following of like-minded ladies:)

My Great Love lost her aphrodisiac in her shoe. She laughed so hard I thought she was going to wet her pants.

We had a Great Time! Without kids, it would have been totally different, of course. More debauchery, more drunkenness, more shocking stories for you guys. We have plenty of years for that, though. So stay tuned.

We still haven't been to a Pride Parade. I really want to do that. Anyone want to fly us to wherever yours is? And put us up? And put up with us? OK. I can wait. Again, I've got plenty of time.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Tits, as promised

Dawn's camera battery died after about 20 pictures. Boo Hiss! So you have to settle for mine. We'll try and get some perkier ones tomorrow.

We had a GREAT time!

P.S. - That is my arm in the bottom left corner of the picture, not a fat roll.

They can't take MY PRIDE!

It's cold. It's raining. But we've got childcare until late afternoon, so Dawn and I both have on swimsuits and we're headed to the tits and dicks show on the beach. Pictures galore this afternoon, pinkie swear.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Imaginary Friends

I don't answer the phone during American Idol, but I do scurry over here during the commercials to try and catch up with all of you. AJ and Luna, I'll get there. You guys require time I don't have until this weekend. I missed all of you while I was away.

Dawn says I should quit calling you my Imaginary Friends. (Doesn't it seem less offensive when I capitalize?) Maybe when Jude and R get here I will stop thinking of all of you as fleshless. I hope so. I have come to rely on this network more than I am comfortable with, honestly.

Commercial over -

Here Comes the Sun

When I've answered, "Where were you guys?" with "Mississippi." every person has said something like, "Oh, fun!" or "Did you have fun?" or "I wish I could get away for a weekend." as if he/she is jealous of my excursion. Let me clear this up right now. Since I moved from the glorious mirage-like hamlet that is Oxford, MS, I have not had fun in that state. My family is full of loony bigots who think that I am a total crazy for not loving Mississippi and the legacy that it carries and for not wanting to continue that legacy and "What do you mean you don't want your children around me?" My dad fancies himself a progressive. That's a story for another day. So the short answer is NO!, I didn't have fun.

My grandfather is dying. He's in the last stages of Alzheimer's. He didn't know me. I'm glad I went and saw him, but it was horrible.

I didn't get to see Sissy. My folks wouldn't let her come with us to the zoo and she decided to not come with our dad when I met with him. I don't know what's going on.

My dad has promised a new passion for our relationship. I'm a big sucker and said OK. Again. He breaks my heart. I really do think he loves me. But he's boy, a stupid boy. I keep giving him a pass for that handicap but then end up expecting more of him than any boy has ever been capable of. And then I am crushed. Again. So we'll see.

BUT . . .It was made bearable by the 5 faces that went with me. Our kids LOVE a road trip. They each pack their car bags with treasured toys and books and whatever little activity pack I let them con me into buying. (This time it was those reusable stickers and landscape boards. Never again.) We get a new audiobook for each trip and the kids revel in it. This time I proudly announced the title as, "The Tale of Despereaux." Shrieks of excitement.

And Dawn, perfect Dawn. She spent the entire trip taking up my slack with the children. She did it without a sigh or complaint. She missed no opportunity to tell me that I am big and strong and that I am doing a great job and not to worry we were going home soon and that she was going with me and would be with me forever and ever and that I have a new family now that loves me and Becca, look at those kids - look how happy they are - we live for them now, not these crazies.

All of this to say - Mississippi sucks, but after being there I am always refreshingly reminded of how much I love my Dawn and our children and my house and Florida and my dog and all of her cohorts. I choose life. And I'm really happy.

Monday, May 18, 2009


We made it. Thank God and every Kennedy that has ever graced this land of ours. Mississippi was treacherous, as always. I promise a complete recounting later. For now, I'll share with you 2 gems that I saw. Both were clearly visible signs along Highway 49.

"Family Life Church
Penecost . . . At Its Best!"

"I'm Single. I'm Beautiful. I'm Avaliable." This sign hung on the side of a trailer at a Mobile Home Dealership. It was written in Hot Pink on a Black sign and had lip prints and hearts all over it. Classy.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Imagine My Surprise

My first glimpse of my world this morning was hot pink. Confusing. Upon further inspection the pinkness was also poufy and ruffley. That got me to sit up. A massive smile spread as the brain fog cleared.

My sweet adorable tomboyish Dawn had gotten up in the night and fumbled in the dark for a shirt. She had landed on my shirt which she would never be caught dead in.

She started to stir. I said, "I love your shirt, Baby." She winked a look and smiled a coy smile. She croaked, "Oh, my God."

When she finally got moving around I heard her mumble, "I look ridiculous in ruffles."

Update: Now she's wearing camo pants and a stained t-shirt. That's better.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Summer Sharing

I love the summertime. I love the kids being at home. I love weekend excursions to state parks and close-by semi-cities. I love the beach and the heat and tourists and visiting family and friends. But mostly I love fresh vegetables still warm from the sun. Tomatoes. Oh, how I LOVE tomatoes. William and I planted several cherry tomato plants weeks ago and I am not so patiently awaiting the little orange balls of juicy deliciousness.

Ray got me going about tomatoes today. When I got him up from his nap, he asked for some WayonWayon juice - Milk with Chocolate Instant Breakfast. I opened the fridge to get the milk; and Ray reached in and grabbed the carton of grape tomatoes. I put him on the counter and stood between his knees. We took turns feeding each other the chilly perfect orbs. Only homegrown tomatoes could have made the moment better. Just a few weeks more. I can't wait!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

LOVE the Solar Panels!

*This is not where we chose to install the panel. It ended up on the roof.

It's been 4 days now. The guys said that we wouldn't be able to tell a difference - it would be just like having our regular hot water heater. They were wrong. It's so much better! First of all, the capacity of the new tank is more than double the old one so all 7 of us can bathe on the same day and run the dishwasher. That we couldn't do that before had never struck me as inconvenient - it was just a fact of our lives. After 4 short days, I'm totally spoiled. Clean kids AND clean dishes? Shut up!

The guys had to come back this morning because the inspector said they needed to extend a pipe out to blah blah blah. While they were here, Dawn asked them about a panel to offset some electricity costs. He explained it this way - Our house will use the power gained from the panels first. If we don't use all of that power, Gulf Power, the electric company will give us credit. So actually, while the sun is shining, our neighbors are also running off of our panels. We are basically selling our power to the power company.

As Dawn explained this to me, I got a goofy grin. She actually had to stop talking and lean down to kiss me quickly before continuing. You see, she's my panel. She makes more than enough energy and good vibes, so she powers me also. I am her lucky duck neighbor.

You all have permission to throw up now.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Brown Ice

Eeeewwwwww. I know.

I couldn't figure it out. There would be maybe 1 brown piece for every 20 perfect pieces for the last few days. I decided that a kid must have spilled some Coca-Cola in the machine or a piece of ice cream had gotten over in the machine. I was wrong.

I just watched William walk to the freezer, open the ice drawer, remove a piece of perfect ice and rub it on his head. 20 seconds maybe. I said, "What are you doing?" He said, "Faithy and I cracked nuggets." Then he threw the piece back in and went about his business.

Brown Ice - Grosser Than I Thought.

Sunday, May 10, 2009


We spent the morning at the beach. Usually, our first family trip to the beach is for Dawn's birthday, but we were busy:) So Mother's Day seemed a good substitute. I'm sure Dawn will give you the straight story, so I'll give you the part that will make Dawn blush.

Like 15 year-old boys, Dawn and I saw a vagina in everything today. With lots of giggles and eye-rolls, we took pictures. (Doesn't Dawn have very capable-looking hands? They are 2 of her many perfect parts.) Here are our favorites!

We know - we should get out more.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

The World According to Faith

Last night at Storm's baseball game, Faith kept asking to go play with "that girl" who was sitting just outside of her comfort zone. Dawn kept saying yes. Faith would go play for a few minutes and come back for a few minutes and then ask again. Dawn said, "Faith, you should find out what her name is." Faith said, "No, I already named her."

Thursday, May 7, 2009


We're having solar panels installed on the roof today. (Because we're so cool!) The guys are in and out of the house. Dawn was talking to Happy, her aunt when one came in and said, "Your dog is running down the street." In her most surprised and questioning tone Happy said, "Hey! There's a man in your house!"

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Spider Lilies Came Out Today

We woke up late, of course. Dawn and Storm scurried out the door. I exchanged jam pants for jeans, decided my jam shirt was passable and rushed the 3 little ones through breakfast. While we waited for Dawn to return to take them to school, William gave us a tour of our yard. The okra and cherry tomatoes are coming along beautifully. The peach trumpet that he lovingly tends has been feast for a Very Hungry Caterpillar, I think. He doesn't seem phased by it. And then. And then. The Spider Lilies. Our yard is covered in these wild lilies. We love them so much that we don't mow and risk the wrath of Mr. & Mrs. Snooty Pants across the street who have a tendency to call the yard cops. A ticket is worth getting to see these beauties climb up anything they can find and bloom, bloom, bloom.

Dawn says that I'm just like them - hanging all my really important parts out in the world, unprotected. I love her.

It got me thinking about Sissy. She is very big and beautiful and smart in her own way. And whether or not the folks continue to block my access to her, she will surely grab hold of something and pull herself up and bloom, bloom, bloom. My own little Spider Lily.

Go to my Soundtrack and hear the song I chose for the day. "You have to fall down to mend."

Thank you to those of you who took time to push some much needed goodness my way. Keep thinking of me and Sissy, the newest member of the club.

Why do we own a shoe rack? Part II

This morning, my children were engaged in the daily race to find their shoes before Dawn picks them up shoeless and carries them to the car forcing them to wear "school shoes" when they get there. (This is one of the perks that we pay for with our plasma at the private school. If our children refuse to get dressed in the morning, we are encouraged to bring them in their pajamas. The teachers will then lead them to the bathroom, hand them some clothes and instruct them to stay there until they are properly dressed for school. I gotta tell you, each of the kids has only had to do that once.) This morning it was Storm who was hopping around in one shoe. Faith joined in the hunt in a rare show of sportsmanship. I was changing Ray's sizeable and mushy load when I heard Faith running down the hall screaming, "Storm! I found it!" She slid to a halt right at the door of the bedroom and slung the shoe right into the poop.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Why do we own a shoe rack?

When the sanatorium (isn't that where uninsured crazy people get sent?) goons come to cart me away to the loony bin and someone sticks a microphone in my face (because I'll of course be famous by then. No idea why I'm so poor.) and asks, "What happened? What finally drove you over the edge?" I'll wrestle free of the shackles, grab the mike and in my best gravely drooly voice I'll slur, "It was the shoes! My children's shoes! Oh, the misery of missing shoes!"

Monday, May 4, 2009

Baby Girl

Hoping for advice or at least a little boost, ladies.

*Forgive me, Jude, for sharing my email to you here. I just don't have the strength to re-tell this story.*

My little sister ran away this weekend with her girlfriend. The cops found her in Montgomery, AL - 5 hours from home and across a state line. My folks went and got her and pressed contributing to the delinquency of a minor charges against the girlfriend who is 18. (Sis is 15.) They have taken Sissy's phone and banned her from the computer.

I'm worried sick and just want to scoop her up. But I've been more or less estranged from the fam since I left my husband, and totally estranged since January when I went to their home and tried to repair the relationship. Sis witnessed their bigotry, anger and hatred towards me and my true family. Shortly thereafter, she came out and ran away for the first time.

I'm doing lots of Ham Sa, as you can well imagine. I may have to have my chakra realigned after this, too:] I hate the way this negativity feels in my body. I feel like if I could throw up, I would feel better, but I know that's not true. This hurt and confusion is deeply rooted and festers on a somewhat regular basis. Big Sigh.

Pictures, as promised

Dawn beat me to writing about our weekend in New Orleans. I guess it's fitting to let the birthday girl tell the tale, but I have the pictures. Read her. Gaze me;)

Free Beer! My favorite kind!

Friday, May 1, 2009

I'm still calling it a GREAT SUCCESS!

18 hours shy of the ETBR (Estimayed Time of Big Reveal) I had to tell Dawn the big secret. Considering that I've had the big secret for over a week and that all the kids knew the big secret, that's pretty good. So like I said, GREAT SUCCESS!

What had happened was . . .I went to the store late yesterday afternoon. When I came back Storm was on the phone with Janie, his first little girlfriend. We LOVE her! Dawn laughed and told me that she had called to ask if he is Filipino. We have no idea why she wanted to know or what led her to believe that. Anyway, Dawn went on to say that she and Janie's mom had planned a playdate (hate that word!) for this afternoon.

FLASHING RED LIGHTS! FLASHING RED LIGHTS! Channel President Clinton's look-you-in-the-face-and-lie-convincingly powers!

That, of course, is not what happened. I stammered, blushed and hid in the fridge until I came out with a half-downed beer. The beer was an Abita, because I was just feeling it, you know? No, you don't know. Just give me a second and it will all become clear. In all but complete panic mode, I put the beer down in front of Dawn and said, "Here's your first clue." Her hands were covered in shrimp juice so she just stared at the beer and kept peeling shrimp and kept talking about the playdate (hate that word!)

After she got the shrimp going and I had worn one of those pacing ditches in the floor, she went to the computer. I peeked around the corner and saw that she was on She got a very confused look on her face and slowly turned around. She saw me before I could snatch my head back around the corner, so I smiled coyly. She said, "Are we going to New Orleans?" I nodded.

Happy? No. Excited? No. Those words don't do her reaction justice. She was both laughing and crying. Spinning me around and a little unsteady on her feet. I let her ramble on about the zoo and the aquarium and all the kid things for a few minutes before I said, "Sans Kids."

Her beautiful green peepers just about popped out of her head.

So get ready for lots of pictures on Monday! Wish us a great weekend and Dawn a Happy Birthday!