Monday, August 23, 2010

I have a question

What do you think of men? That's the short question.

Long before I counted myself a member of the finest club on earth (The Lesbians), I had observed, lived to know, etc. that men come and go and are not to be depended upon for mental or emotional stability. Bringing home the bacon? Sometimes. But only when I was recently full of chicken.

I was told tonight that "there are some good ones, few and far between maybe, but there are some good ones." OK. I all but told her to "go on with her bad self."

Strangely enough, my front porch mentor on the subject of "good men" went on to tell me the saddest story of her perfect man, her "Bubba." This is a man that raised her and loved her though he had no biological or legal reason to. She loves him. He loves her.

Unless . . . she brings home a black man (she's white) or a woman. And in which case she's "done."

A similar situation in my own life put the nail in my "good men" coffin.

So the long question is, Ladies, straight, gay, ambiguous, young and old, how do you live with, communicate with, make love to, leave, stay with, defend yourself from, cling to, hope for, grieve for the men in your lives?

Do you revel in their different-ness? Celebrate the wonder of life? Do you endure heartache? Abuse? Have you found your "other half"? Do you clamor sometimes foolishly for their attention? And if so, to what end? Why? Do you trust them? Do they disappoint you? Do they lift you up? Do they take care of you? Do you take care of them?

I am truly and gratefully interested in the good, the bad and the ugly.

Thursday, August 5, 2010


Thank you, Judge Vaughn Walker. You helped a few more of us "climb on, two by two."