I'm back!

So much has happened since I last was able to post. I should begin by saying thank you for your patience and the outpouring of offers of violence. It was endearing, really. I believe the ghosts of relationships past have left the building, so the scary IP thing is gone. YEA!

Quick rundown of the past few days -

Thank you to Solo, Dawg, Lesbo and Jen for posting REAL pictures! I love seeing your beautiful faces instead of your wrist or foot or eerie darkened profile.

Don't forget to keep Solo, Shane and Kimber on your list of Good Vibe recipients.

Does anyone else miss Jude like a child misses their blanket?

I have a secret. I am keeping a massive secret from Dawn. Her birthday is Sunday. I wish I could tell you about it and get your help and advice, but alas, she loves me and supports me and reads my posts over and over again and marvels in my cleverness and good will and capacity for . . . I digress. I can't wait to tell you all about it next week!

Funny story to keep you shaking your head about my crazy house -
This morning I was checking my email while Dawn wrangled breakfast. I heard Faith ask for yogurt and Dawn open the fridge. Then I zoned out for a second. Then I heard Dawn explaining about expiration dates. Zone. Then I heard Dawn asking Faith to choose something else for breakfast. I assumed she was being picky about flavors. A while later Dawn said to me, "All that yogurt you bought was bad." I said, "What makes you say that?" She said, "It was all curdled and gross." I shook my head and rolled my eyes as I stared at the Brand New, perfectly good, Whipped yogurt in the trash can.

Busted

Forgive me, Sweet Friends. I have to take care of something today.

It has come to my attention that there are some people here, reading me, that are not here for noble or honorable purposes. And though this is a public site, they are well aware that they are unwelcome. They are spies, peeping toms.

Trespassers, I ask, respectfully, that you not return. Surely, by now you have read every word and either found what you wanted or can rest assured that since it's not here now, it probably never will be.

Please stay out of my business, as I stay out of yours.

My Hero, Laura

Will everyone please go and read our friend Laura's comment on my post, "Miss-Informed California"? She is hilarious and brilliant and pretty fly for a straight girl.

Del Mar: The Poor Man's Corona

My Great Love is drunk and blogging. I love her. If there's anything coherent in her post, I'll link it tomorrow.

She sent me to the store for more beer while humming a certain Jimmy Buffet diddy. Can anyone guess which one?:)

Miss-Informed California

Let me just go on and get this out of my system, "What in the fuck is she talking about?"

OK, I'm ready to be rational now. I know about "Opposite Marriage." I was in one for 5 years. Miss California may be surprised to hear that my "Same Marriage" is far more supportive, healthy, fulfilling, enriching, joyful and "right" than my "Opposite Marriage" was and ever had the chance to be. I hope that she, in her Sameness finds joy and that she shuts her stupid collogen pie hole about mine.

No Shit!

I was just trying to figure out an excuse to not take Faith to school. (Storm is sick and William and Ray don't go on Tuesdays. It takes just short of an Act of Congress to get all 4 kids in the van; and I just wasn't feeling up to it.) I was running through my mental list of friends who would be willing to pick her up on their way to school when Faith ran past gagging. She managed to choke out, "The kitten pooped on me." She did throw up a little, out of disgust, but that's good enough for me.

By the way, the kitten is a she, not a he as we originally thought. And her name is Mao. Ray stutter-stepped behind her saying, "Mao. Mao. Mao. Mao." for 3 weeks or so and we have given in. Mao it is. Dawn and I enjoy referring to her as "The Chairman." I told you Nerdy Girls Make Me Hot.

Tornado-ish

This is my den. Today, unfortunately, it looks very much like my living room, playroom, bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom. I'm swamped. After the washing machine went out and created a backlog of laundry and then Dawn and I both got sick and then Dawn got called into work all week and then Spring Break and then our biggest festival of the year (made bookoos, by the way!), the house is beyond repair. The problem is that even if I worked on it continuously it still wouldn't get clean because the 4 kids leave such destruction in their wakes. While I am repairing they are destroying. Adrienne Rich wrote something like, "The greatest frustration of Motherhood is doing jobs that are constantly undone." How true.

I'm seriously considering using some of my festival profits to hire a Merry Maid to help me climb out of the wreckage. Is that terrible?