Thursday, January 29, 2009

My Virtual Kingdom

I’m taking a break from admiring my newly created blog. I’m so pleased with myself. I’ve strategically altered the layout and colors and added “gadgets” to the sidebars - National Geographic Picture of the Day and Useless Knowledge that changes every half hour. So far I’ve seen some folks looking into a huge crater and learned that the first stoplight was in Cleveland at the corner of Euclid and 105th . I’ve posted my first entry, and watched for longer than I’m comfortable with admitting to see how many eager readers flood into my fledgling site (zero in said (unsaid) time period).
Not until now did I understand the addictive nature of Facebook and MySpace and the like. When asked by countless people why I don’t have a Facebook or MySpace account, I’ve always replied (because everything is funnier the 57th or so time that you say it), “I don’t think I have enough friends to warrant it.” What I have learned today though, is that this worldwide fascination is not about keeping or getting in touch with friends dear and lost. This is about control! It’s about ruling your own little kingdom, virtual though it may be. Change the landscape and regal banners at your every whim! Banish trouble-making blasts from the past! Play on repeat your favorite (most annoying) one-hit wonder from the rooftops, your highness! The world (contained to your monitor) is your oyster*! Life (in cyber-space) is a bowl of cherries*! *Both images available in wallpaper.
I have exercised intense will power today. Do all new bloggers have to restrain themselves from using their new site for marathon bitching sessions? In my everyday real life world, I try very hard to not complain. I don’t get irritated with slow cashiers at Target. I don’t ask to speak to a manager when an overworked and underpaid waitress forgets my iced tea. I don’t even honk in traffic preferring instead to leave that to people who truly need outlets for anger. It sounds like I think I deserve a cookie for this. I know I don’t. My point is why did I instantly think of complaining once my blog was established? Is it the confessional nature of the blog - near anonymous and near consequence-free? Is being unsatisfied a bigger part of my nature than I cared to admit? Or maybe again, this is part of the monarchy phenomenon. Maybe I wanted to complain in my little corner of the world for the same reason that a dog licks his balls - because he can.
And still I’m not giving in to the dark and brooding crevice of my soul. “Spread Good Vibes” is part of the Life is Good Company’s mantra. I have truly taken this to heart. Acting responsibly and with kindness in regard to myself and my surroundings and the people who bless me with their company is the cornerstone of my life plan. I will do my dead level best to remember that in days to come. I will remember that my virtual subjects will respect me more for what I can build than what I can tear down. (Thanks, Mr. President.) I will remember my higher self and demand that she wear yellow. (Thank you, Sarah.) I will remember that my best and most important audience is just in the next room and likes Mommy Happy much more than Mommy Blue.

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