Remember how I said I haven't cried yet? Now I have. McDonald's is what sent me over the edge. Pathetic, I know.
I realized at about 10:30 that I forgot to make Storm a lunch. The little boys and I were out running errands so I zipped into the McDonald's drive-thru. I ordered $12.98 worth of heart-attack-in-a-bag. I pulled around to the first window and gave the lady my credit card. Declined. "Could you try it again, please?" Declined. Fuck.
You see, I never use my credit card. The only reason we have it is to pay off the solar panels. For the last several days, I've had to run it a few times for odds and ends for my mother's move. And I had to do one big purchase on it because her Target card was declined when she sent me there yesterday.
So I hung my head, apologized and got out of line. Then I remembered that I had her other credit card because I had to leave one on file at the "Senior Community." I got back in line, ordered the same $12.98 worth of artery clogging, and pulled around yet again to the first window. The lady looked at me funny and I said, "Different credit card." She smiled and then said, "Declined." I said, "What?" She said, "Declined." That is when I lost it. Hyperventilating sobbing. In the McDonald's drive-thru. With my two baby boys in the back seat. I let go one blood-curdling scream and made my way out of the line. Again.
Total and Complete Humiliation. I have known thee.
.
Oh, honey. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time right now. If you want to talk, you know where I am. Love you.
ReplyDeletei wish i were there to hug you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry.
ReplyDelete(((( hugs)))), just think that now the flood gates have been opened it should be easier now. keep your chin up it will all get better.
ReplyDelete((((hugs))) We are all thinking about you. I wish we all could be there to give you a big group hug. I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time.
ReplyDeleteDear Lord- well, if it took a humiliation at McDonalds (and believe me, you were hardly the first person for THAT to happen to today), then so be it. I hope you cried and got some of it out. You have a lot to get out.
ReplyDeletea good cry is often a good thing. sure, the circumstances sucked but doesn't it feel good to get it out?
ReplyDeletehang in there, lady. sending well wishes to you.
Oh Becca :(
ReplyDeleteThe last straw.
Sending lots of love & hugs your way.
aw Becca...had I been at that drive-thru window, I'd have just given you the food. :) huge, huge hugs for you {{{{{Becca}}}}}
ReplyDeleteTimes like this we run on emotional adrenaline and are in hyperdrive. Then when you have a minute to let it hit, it hits. Like a tsunami. There will be more. It's fucking hard. But it will be ok.
ReplyDeleteI HATE when that happened to me. It's so embarrassing....but it happens to more people than you would ever realize!
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and positive thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteoh sweet heart! damn it all to hell. screaming helps, ask Dena...
ReplyDeleteSending you my best vibes ... you need to get it all out somehow. I know you're going through a lot right now, but just remember we're all here to support you.
ReplyDelete