Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Floodgates, finally


Remember how I said I haven't cried yet? Now I have. McDonald's is what sent me over the edge. Pathetic, I know.


I realized at about 10:30 that I forgot to make Storm a lunch. The little boys and I were out running errands so I zipped into the McDonald's drive-thru. I ordered $12.98 worth of heart-attack-in-a-bag. I pulled around to the first window and gave the lady my credit card. Declined. "Could you try it again, please?" Declined. Fuck.
You see, I never use my credit card. The only reason we have it is to pay off the solar panels. For the last several days, I've had to run it a few times for odds and ends for my mother's move. And I had to do one big purchase on it because her Target card was declined when she sent me there yesterday.


So I hung my head, apologized and got out of line. Then I remembered that I had her other credit card because I had to leave one on file at the "Senior Community." I got back in line, ordered the same $12.98 worth of artery clogging, and pulled around yet again to the first window. The lady looked at me funny and I said, "Different credit card." She smiled and then said, "Declined." I said, "What?" She said, "Declined." That is when I lost it. Hyperventilating sobbing. In the McDonald's drive-thru. With my two baby boys in the back seat. I let go one blood-curdling scream and made my way out of the line. Again.
Total and Complete Humiliation. I have known thee.

.

15 comments:

  1. Oh, honey. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time right now. If you want to talk, you know where I am. Love you.

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  2. I'm sorry I can't be there when you need me. Soon I will be.

    Hang in there. i love you Pretty girl.

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  3. (((( hugs)))), just think that now the flood gates have been opened it should be easier now. keep your chin up it will all get better.

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  4. ((((hugs))) We are all thinking about you. I wish we all could be there to give you a big group hug. I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time.

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  5. Dear Lord- well, if it took a humiliation at McDonalds (and believe me, you were hardly the first person for THAT to happen to today), then so be it. I hope you cried and got some of it out. You have a lot to get out.

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  6. a good cry is often a good thing. sure, the circumstances sucked but doesn't it feel good to get it out?

    hang in there, lady. sending well wishes to you.

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  7. Oh Becca :(

    The last straw.

    Sending lots of love & hugs your way.

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  8. aw Becca...had I been at that drive-thru window, I'd have just given you the food. :) huge, huge hugs for you {{{{{Becca}}}}}

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  9. Times like this we run on emotional adrenaline and are in hyperdrive. Then when you have a minute to let it hit, it hits. Like a tsunami. There will be more. It's fucking hard. But it will be ok.

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  10. I HATE when that happened to me. It's so embarrassing....but it happens to more people than you would ever realize!

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  11. Sending hugs and positive thoughts your way.

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  12. oh sweet heart! damn it all to hell. screaming helps, ask Dena...

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  13. Sending you my best vibes ... you need to get it all out somehow. I know you're going through a lot right now, but just remember we're all here to support you.

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