Tuesday, September 15, 2009

View from a Jail Cell

Granted, it's a very comfortable jail cell. (When I was a kid in Missisippi, "jail" and "cell" rhymed. They both had 2 syllables.) And when I went for my shower I didn't drop the soap. Good thing since I can't lean over to pick it up. Dawn says my quarantine is even worse than jail because even convicts get to go outside.

So far, my favorite thing about being sequestered is watching Dawn chase me around with the Lysol spray. When I have to leave my cell to go potty, which is pretty often unfortunately, she comes with me and takes mental notes on everything that I touch. When I'm done, she hoses everything down. Then she follows me back to the cell and hoses the doorknob and the doorframe and the lightswitch. When she misses a bathroom break, it's fun to tell her that I licked something and I'm not telling what it is.

While I took my aforementioned shower today, she changed the sheets in my cell. She put on my favorite quilt. It's my favorite mostly because my mother hates it. I got it as a wedding gift and used it in the guest room of our first house. I guess the quality is just really poor or maybe my laundry skills were not quite up to par but the damn thing quickly became ratty and torn. That didn't bother me in the least. To me it looked more quiltish and less Clearance-Bin-at-the-JCPenney which I knew it to be. My mother, though, hated it. Hates it still. I make it a point to put it on her bed whenever she comes. It's soft and cozy and good for being sick in.

She also changed to more comforting pillow cases. Dammit, Rocket, Amy and Laura Lee! There's no need to interrupt, but yes that is the $80 pillow cleverly disguised as a Raggedy Ann heirloom.

I changed into my favorite jams. Obnoxious purple pants and . . .

Except when her greeenst thing is coming out of her . . . well, you know.

If I look up, which kind of hurts since I've got what I think is a 2 by 4 for a spine, I can see Africa.

If I look left, I can see my window and the vines that we let take over our house and the rain chain. See, Ms. Moon?!

If I look to the right, I see this concoction of 7Up and Gatorade that Dawn keeps lovingly bringing to me. Think that color might have anything to do with the greenness I mentioned above?

And here's my forward view. That's a stack of movies I'm to conquer today. Yesterday I read every book in our house that I hadn't read or tried to read before. That came to about 624 pages. No more reading today. Ironically, though, those other stacks are the Scholastic Book Orders for the school. No rest for the weary, I tell ya.
I've been thinking about doorbells today. I'll save it for later, though.
Thanks for your well wishes, friends. If anybody has a kit for a full blood panel just laying around, let us know!



  1. Girly-girl, you might have to go to the doctor. If you're not better by Thursday, you just do it! Okay? Now rest.
    Nice rain chain.

  2. LOVE the purple jammie pants!!! they're not obnoxious..lol and could you get a better close up of the painted toes? No? ok, can't blame a girl for tryin....lol
    Get better soon, ok??

  3. LOL love the fact Dawn is chasing after you with lysol. Sounds like me. If my son or I gets sick, lysol is my best friend and everything is sprayed. Loveing the Irish shirt.

    Yes agree, you need to head to the docs if you are not better, hope you feel better soon!!!!

  4. feel better, I hope the lysol is at least a nice scent. lol

  5. I love you pretty girl. Please get better soon. I'm getting a little tired of talking to Dawn. I mean I love her and all but... well... she's not you :o(

  6. Tea with Whiskey and Honey
    Hot sex
    Long steamy shower

    In this order, go do it. You'll thank me.

  7. i had that same pillow case as a kid!
    wonder if it's still around at my parents...
    hope your butthole is feeling better!

  8. At least you have a beautiful jail cell and one hot warden.

  9. Dawg is right. And you do have a choice warden. Oh, and sleep, sleep, sleep. Body, body heal thyself!

  10. I know. If my captor was ever here, this would be bearable. But now she has 4 itty ones to care for by herself and this crazy house filled with critters. She all but ignores me. She's amazing.

    If I were capable of hot sexy sex I wouldn't be wasting my time with you guys. FYI.

  11. Ok Windy, your last line cracked me up.

    Thanks for the glimpse into your life! I love seeing people in their natural habitats. I love the shirt, too. We Irish need to stick together.

    I hope you're feeling better.

  12. It's just so great that your humor is with you, and us - rain or shine, good days and even days like today. Thank you for making me LOL even when I'm sure it hurts you to smile! :o\