Bacon Boy on Wife Swap

I ran across this on YouTube and had to share it. This is hilarious!

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More Tide Pool Pictures

Margo takes beautiful pictures. I wish on everything holy that she would do something with this talent, something that makes money, I mean. She's especially good with children. She can get kids to make the perfect face. I also wish I felt more comfortable with showing you examples of those perfect faces but, alas we don't live in a perfect world.

When she posted pictures from the tide pool (speaking of perfect), she left out some of my favorites.

I swear Ray is one of the funniest people that has ever stomped this planet.

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Yee-Haw!

I'm not cured, but certainly better. I can still feel the catch in my back, but the horrible stabbing lightning strike of pain associated with that catch yesterday is all gone. As my friend Curious would say, "I've got a hitch in my giddy-up."

Dawn's at work, so the kids and I are going to load up in the Old Slow Coach and see if we can find any yard sales. Then we're going to the Used Book Store to sell our finds and hunt for treasures. I LOVE the Used Book Store, which refers to itself as an Index which makes me love it even more. Index is much more romantic than Used. Doesn't it call to mind a dusty forgotten library where our hero finds the last of the clues that will deliver the world from certain evil? Yes, it does.

Fall has started straining at the womb that Summer has made for it. She will soon be here, and we will hang orange garlands to celebrate. Until then, I hope you all enjoy a restful Saturday! Don't forget to revel in the last days of Summer. In a few months, we'll all be bitching about how cold it is.

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Debilitated, Damn it

I have hurt my back. I'm not sure how badly yet, we'll see. When we got home from picking up the kids from school, Dawn parked on the street and hopped out and ran into the house because she had to poop. The 3 little kids and I were left to carry in a few odds and ends. I'm in charge of the Scholastic Book Orders for Ray's classroom which involves putting together fliers which are bundled in big blocks. While simultaneously trying to keep the kids out of the street and gather the bundles and the small bag of groceries, I heard and felt something pop. Pain, immediately. I sort of collapsed onto the car seat and told Faith and William to go and get Dawn right now.

Several minutes of pretty severe pain later and still no Dawn, I managed to find one of the cell phones on the floor of the car. I called the house. She was laughing when she answered, "Yes?" She came running. She carried me into the house which is no fall feat considering that our driveway has a pretty substantial slope and there are several steps up to the porch and then several steps down into the den. She said she never saw Faith, and William came in singing, "It's a Small World." Thank God for Cell Phones.

So now I'm confined to the bed. Dawn is very sweet to me. She's got me set up with the laptop and has even gotten it rigged up so it's not burning the skin off of my legs. She changes out my ice packs regularly. And when I threaten to get up and help with the nighttime routine, she reminds me that she has to go to work tomorrow and that I HAVE to rest and get better or the children will burn the place down in the morning and I'll have a hard time getting myself out a window to escape. sigh.

I HATE being immobile and useless.

She's been giving me regular updates on the kids, the hysterical kids. She said William left his shoes right in the middle of the kitchen floor. When she asked him to pick them up, he said, "OK, as soon as you give me some cash." What the hell?

Ray comes in to check on me and put his little chicken head on me. A few minutes ago, he came in with chocolate in the corners of his mouth. I asked him if he had cookies for dessert. He said, "Yep. All done. My mouf" and then opened up to show me the Oreos ground into his precious teeth. Lord, how I love this baby.

I can hear the kids running up and down the hallway. Sometimes I can figure out the gists of their games. Sometimes I just catch a few words, "Charge!" and "You're under arrest!" Lord, how I love these kids.

It's strange to experience my life from behind a door.


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Thursdays' Treasures

It's been a rocky couple of days. Lots of high highs and a few low lows. I'm pretty tired. On these days it's the little things that really count. So here's my list of the Little Things that Make Me Feel Rich.

1) A brand new fridge pack of Caffeine-Free Diet Coke. Oh, the Luxury!

2) A shared snack of chips and salsa. Faith and I looked at catalogs while we slurped and crunched. She's chosen a most horrible costume for Halloween, but she has a fabulous giggle.

3) Ray's hugs - His little chicken arms are so skinny and cool. He wraps them around my neck and squeezes, and nothing could ever be wrong in my world.

4) Curbside Recycling - The Fair City of Pensacola has finally seen fit to pick up Recyclables. I have a special bin and everything.

5) Unlimited Long-Distance - And it's really come in handy here recently:) The Circle of Love expands and unlike a balloon only gets stronger when it gets bigger. Thank Goodness.

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In Respect of a Great Man

Disclaimer: I have an unabashed obsession with the Kennedys. I forgive their faults and wrong-doings and celebrate their victories. I am totally convinced that they as a family have affected far more good than the individuals have committed wrong.

I think I have a unique perspective on the Kennedys and what they have meant to America and what they continue to stand for. My father was 12 when President Kennedy was killed. My father lived in the Mississippi Delta, which is to say that his mother's family had lived there for generations. He was entrenched in the culture of 1960s racial politics. Of course, to a 12 year-old, it was simply his daily life. President Kennedy was going to integrate the schools, by force if necessary. It was a welcome fight in rural Mississippi. He certainly didn't understand the enormity of the moment that he was experiencing. What he recalls is this -

He was sitting in the bleachers of the gymnasium at school. He must have been adjusting his sneakers because everyone else was already on the gym floor. An announcement came over the PA system, "President Kennedy has been shot and killed today in Dallas, TX." He says that he looked up and saw the gymnasium erupt in applause and cheering and high-fives. Something about the exuberance struck him as wrong, but he was quickly caught up in it. School let out so that the children could go home and celebrate with their families.

He went home with his friend, Thumper who had always been called Thumper, and never by his given name. The boys walked through the back door to find Thumper's mother busy in the kitchen. Thumper rejoiced, "Yeah! Somebody finally got that bastard!" Thumper's mother responded sharply, "That is quite enough, Hamilton." Those are the only words in pseudo-respect for our President that my father heard in the days after.

This really stuck with my father. In his adulthood, he has read every book, seen every documentary and researched primary sources from the President's assassination in broad daylight in one of our nation's largest cities. He is far from a conspiracy theorist. The facts, Ma'am, just the facts. He's my guy Friday.

I spent my teen years which saw the release of Oliver Stone's movie JFK idealizing my father's interest. I imagined him as a great, unheralded detective - the one who would uncover the truth and bring the killer to justice. Quite a romantic vision.

I joined in the quest. I wrote essays and exploratory letters to the Library of Congress. I urged my dad to do the same. I was JUST SURE that the secret files would be opened to the 2 of us if we could just reach the right person - the sympathetic ear of a lowly archivist who shared the passion. I was a moron.

In my adult years, I have educated myself about the history of the Kennedy family. I have acquainted myself with the ins and outs of individuals, and joined the causes of the ones who shone. I have taken days from work to mourn the crash of JFK Jr., and his beautiful wife and the passing of his mythical mother. Just recently I have reached out to a virtual stranger for comfort in the death of President Kennedy's sister, Mrs. Shriver. I asked her for and got affirmation that yes, there are people in America that remember and revere the golden days of Camelot and what could have been.

And now Senator Kennedy has passed, peacefully, as I understand it. For that I am grateful. Our nation today has lost a great man, the ultimate citizen, a lion of a statesman - one who took and held close and defended unapologetically stances that were not entirely popular. He did it with grace and composure and respect. On NPR this afternoon, I heard Senator Kennedy's biographer say something very close to this - "If you asked all 100 Senators who the toughest legislator in the Senate is, 99 of them would say, 'Senator Kennedy." He went on to say that Senator Kennedy, who comes from the most charismatic family in United States political history, managed to be boring. "And that is a good thing."

The biographer related a story from Senator Kennedy's first campaign. He was seeking to fill his newly elected brother's vacant seat in the Senate. A poor farmer came up to him after a speech and said something like, "What do you know? You've never worked a day in your life." And the then, Mr. Kennedy replied, "Well, yes, I guess you could say that." The farmer shook his hand and said, "You're not missing a thing."

Our nation has lost a great man. And our community of Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual and Transgendered kin has lost a friend and great ally. I am truly grieved.

Senator Kennedy will lie in repose in the Kennedy Library until he is laid to rest on Saturday in Arlington National Cemetery where he will join his brothers who went before.

I imagine that the Eternal Flame will burn ever brighter.

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Stop with the Memes! I mean, after you do mine, of course.

Sweet People Who Tag Me with Memes, please know that I love you and appreciate your interest in me. However, I have to say that I honestly don't give a rat's ass who your favorite movie star is. And what's more is that I don't believe that you actually care who my favorite movie star is.

I know I'm being blasphemous, but I'm sort of on a roll these days. (I recently made a fervent Baptist choke on her lifesaver when I said, "I hate the Reverand Lou Dobson.")

In pseudo-protest of the recent slew of memes, I have decided to post and challenge you chosen few to a real confessional.

Are you ready? (At Ole Miss, we responded, "Hell Yes! Damn Right! Hotty Toddy, Gosh Almighty! Who the Hell Are We? Hey! Flim Flam Bim Bam, Ole Miss, by Damn!) And I digress.

1) Why are you here, right now, at my site? And don't be cute. Tell the truth.

2) What is something that you left undone today? Why did you leave it, and what is the consequence?

3) If you saw a child about to lick a cut lemon, what would you do? Again, don't be cute.

4) Willie Nelson. Backwoods Redneck or God Among Men?

5) If I asked your Momma, "What is the greatest thing that you taught your child?" what would she say?

6) Recently, you saw something fabulous. What was it?

7) Have you ever "almost died"? If yes, how?

8) Halloween or the 4th of July?

9) Everyone has something memorized. What do you have memorized? Your PIN is not an acceptable answer.

10) If you had to be homeless in a U.S. city for one year, which city would you choose, and why?

I challenge these women to enter the confessional -

Lesbo

Dragon

Margo

Amy

Rocket

Kimber

Jude

Dawg

Solo

There are no rules.

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