Sunday, June 21, 2009
The Good, the Bad and the Heartbreaking
It's Father's Day. Yikes. Not my favorite day. I have a tenuous, at best, relationship with my dad. My step-dad who I lived with for 10 years is long gone. My father's father hasn't spoken to me since I left my husband. My mother's father is struggling against his daughters who just won't let him die. And the father of my sons is in Iraq, hating my guts when he has the time.
I made a slide show with pictures of the boys and catchy diddies and sent it out this morning. My ex will hate the music and tell me about it. My father won't be able to open it. My ex's father will love it, show it to everyone and never mention it to me. I hate futility. And I really hate my compulsion to participate in it. I simply can't help myself; I'm a glutton for punishment.
In the midst of all of this self-pity, I may have made a semi-brilliant decision. (Did you notice all the outs I gave myself right there?) I'm going to start really working on my book. It's been seeding and putting down apprehensive roots in my drought-prone mind for quite some time. The timing of Caleb's visit and Father's Day, though has brought on the rain, I think. (I'm all done with that terribly cliche imagery now. **Collective Sigh of Relief**)
Lesbians, Butches, Femmes, Dykes, Lady-Lickers of all walks, shapes, sizes, colors, ages, creeds, ethnic and national origins, I need your help. I would like to hear your stories about your fathers. The Good, the Bad and the Heartbreaking. If you're willing to share with me, would you please email me ( firstname.lastname@example.org )? Thank you, my friends.